Not Dead Yet

I'm not dead people, just stuck in Afghanistan. Same thing I guess, but fear not, I shall return sometime in January.

"On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

One of my all-time favorite movies is Fight Club. Not necessarily for its entertainment or artistic values, though both are what separate it from all the other crap out there and make the film an exemplary piece of cinema. No, I love it for the continuing theme that Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) keeps pushing. I ask myself everyday, “In the end, how much does it all really matter?” (I’m not suicidal, so stop calling the crisis intervention hotline.)

There are 3 quotes that really drive the point home:

"It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."

"This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time."

…and my personal favorite…
"On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m a pretty laid back guy, but that I have a hair trigger when it comes to stupid people. I’m not talking about the functionally retarded idiots who do things dumb enough to make it into the headlines. I have every confidence that natural selection will take care of those useless consumers of precious oxygen. No, I’m talking about the jackholes you and I have to deal with every day of our miserable lives. Hell, you might just be one of these people and you don’t even know it.

I get really pissed at people who do inconsiderate shit like walking 4 or 5 abreast through Wal-Mart, the mall, etc. as slow as they damn well please completely oblivious to the growing crowd of people behind them. How about these dumbasses that completely lose all driving ability once they attach a cell phone to their ear? My biggest irritation would have to be people who feel it’s their right, no, their duty (dammit) to shove their religious/political beliefs on me like I actually give a rat’s ass.

Honestly people, I don’t give a damn what your opinion of Bush and the war in Iraq is. To be perfectly honest, my opinion is that you should all shut the fuck up unless you’re in the military, since you don’t know jack shit except what the media tells you and we’re the ones who actually have to fight. What stake do you have in this? How much does this affect you on a day-to-day basis? I’m not going to say whether I’m for or against anyone or anything, since I’m NOT one of these people who air their beliefs and opinions for the world.

As for religious types…oh man, I have a special dark, intense, burning hatred for them. Again, I’m not going to say what my opinion is on gay marriage. I will say that I’m not a bigot. I have gay friends and, despite their incessant attempts, I won’t tell them what my stance is either. However, gay marriage is really no different than women’s suffrage, the civil rights movement, and about every other controversial human rights issue in modern history. It WILL happen. The more vehemently people oppose it, the more forcefully it will root itself.

Now here’s where my feelings on the bible thumping lobby comes in. This nation was founded on many principles, one being religious freedom, which includes the right to Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Paganism, and ALL the others, to include the right to follow NO RELIGION. Did you Jesus-freaks catch that? I hope so, ‘cause I really hate repeating myself.

There’s a reason we have a separation of church and state. There is no way we could form a functioning society that conforms to all the laws of all the different religions. The founding fathers viewed marriage as a legal union, nothing more. I don’t give a flying fuck if the idea of two men getting married offends your tender sensibilities. What right does anyone have to dictate that a marriage must be between members of the opposite sex? Again, I ask you, what difference does it make in your life if two people of the same sex want to be LEGALLY united? None, that’s how much. Now shut the fuck up and let the chips fall where they may.

Holy shit, people worry, complain, and obsess over the dumbest crap. Don’t any of you have anything better to do? Go spend time with your family. Volunteer your spare time to a charitable organization since you have so damn much.

Now back to the functionally retarded…

Since when is the area at the end of a parking row, marked with all the pretty yellow, diagonal stripes become a legal parking space? It isn’t!! Now quit parking there you lazy ass and find real spot like the rest of us.

What rich dickhead decided that a Hummer H2 is the perfect first car for his teenage daughter? Obviously someone in Fargo does, because there’s a banana yellow one driving around with the vanity plate PRINCES and, sure as shit, there’s a little teeny-bopper and her giddy, obnoxious, brain dead, friends inside that hideous monstrosity. I ask you, does anyone need an H2? Probably not, but we’re Americans and we like shit big and excessive.

Hmm…since I’m a defender of your freedoms, shouldn’t I be given the authority to drag you out of your car window and beat the piss out of you for being an arrogant asshole who imposes on other people’s freedoms while trying to satisfy your own? You have now idea how much that concept gets me off.

By now, you’re probably asking yourself, “Does this psycho have a point?” Well, of course I do. In the end, how much does it really matter? It probably doesn’t, so would it really hurt us all to pay just a little more attention to everyone around us and try to not be a prick. I’m as guilty as the next person. I get pissed at one moron and then I turn into the dickhead who pisses off everyone else, but whatever. I’m trying. What’s your excuse?

"This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time."

With that in mind, do you want your life to be just a series of selfish acts or would you rather be remembered as someone who tried? It doesn’t matter really, you’re gonna die in the end anyhow and unless you’re someone of immeasurable importance/talent/intellect/etc. you’ll be completely forgotten in 3 generations anyway.

Think about it.

If you don’t like what I have to say, don’t post it in the comments. I’ll just delete it and that’ll be another 5 minutes of your life you wasted.

Grandpa's worth more dead than alive.

I saw a link in my FoxNews.com news feed titled "Grandfather's Ghost Auctioned on EBay" and I just had to read what exactly they were talking about. Sure enough, some woman is auctioning off the ghost of her father because her son is deathly afraid that his grandpa's ghost is still around.

First, let me say that I'm not a real big believer in the supernatural. I'm not knocking anyone who does believe, I just can't get my mind around it, so I'm going to have to take the label of skeptic.

I went to EBay and looked up this auction and was very surprised by what I found. The first auction posted was the legitimate auction and the whole story behind it is long, but to me it looks like it's just a mother trying to do something to help her child's very real fears before it becomes a real issue for him.

What was surprising is the appalling display of human greed and complete disrespect of everything sacred in this world. There were a whole assload of auctions all from different people who were auctioning off the ghost of a grandparent with similar sob stories. Some didn't even make the attempt at a legit sounding sob story, they just put up some gibberish about a hat and a ghost.

These people are perfect examples of people that should just be dragged out into the street and beaten with bare fists until they stop breathing. I cannot believe that these people would be so willing to take one mothers attempt to help her son, which was met with great response from people wanting to help by bidding, and try to dupe other kind souls looking for the real auction to bid on their fraudulent shit. I am absolutely appalled at this blatant attempt at outright fraud.

Human nature at work, now you know why some people just need to die.

A Memorial.......May we never forget.

Here's a little movie I made for my Composition class. It's a collection of images from a bunch of sources. I don't take credit for any of them.

The movie's purpose is to show the before & after of 9/11. It shows the brutality of combat, but also the humanity and compassion of the brave men and women I so proudly call my brothers and sisters in arms. Here's to you all.

Never Forget

(btw- PLEASE don't link directly to the file. If my bandwidth is exceeded, no one will get to see it.)

"You can call it poetic justice. I call it fucking hilarious"

All this semester, NDSU has been plagued all year by racist leaflets. Now, first of all, I need to let you know that I despise racist bigots with every ounce of my being. Some of my best buddies in the Army were Black and Latino.

I’ve found that all racial stereotypes are a bunch of crap and are based solely on the actions of a small number of extraordinarily stupid individuals who have a real knack for putting themselves in the spotlight. One stereotype, however, I have discovered firsthand to be true; Asian women can’t drive for shit. There are exceptions to this statement of course, but none of this is at all relevant to my point.

What is my point? Well, yesterday I received an email asking me to donate money to a charity that is claiming to move Jews back to Israel. According to the email, these are Jews who want to go back, to visit family, etc., etc. Now, whether or not this “organization” is legitimate is subject to debate, but it gave me a great idea.

NDSU has a decent population of students from various nations in Africa. I’m sure some of them would like to go home to visit from time to time and, being college students, money’s usually tight. So how ‘bout someone sends out emails to every racist organization that can possibly be contacted and ask them to help us “send blacks back to Africa”.

I doubt any racist jackass is going to have an i.q. high enough to read anything into it, so chances are, there’s going to be enough idiots sending their hard earned cash to make this a viable operation.

Now, will the money be used to “send blacks back to Africa”? Absolutely, to visit and bring back family members to enjoy all the wonders of life in the US. There should even be sufficient excess to make a sizeable donation to the NAACP.

Is it fraud? Hell no. The money was used for the purpose for which it was solicited and being as all funds will be given away, save operation fees, it’s all non-taxable.

Ah, the joy of irony. Someone, please, execute my plan. I don’t have the ambition or time to actually follow through with it, besides, I came up with the idea, you lazy bastards.

".....I have a whole lot of pent up aggression you really don't want to tap into right now."

So, here I sit, again, in the middle of the night, afflicted with some random malady. Tonight it's a splitting headache. I'm becomming more and more convinced that my ailments are the result of pent up aggression.

I'm not a violent person, normally. I just see the complete idiocy of the world around me and often think to myself "What the hell are you people doing? Can't you see the absolute complete stupidity of your actions? Dear God, why are you allowed to live?" This usually happens 4 or 5 times a day and with no way to release my intense, violent hatred of morons, I'm pretty sure that it's making me physically ill.

I've looked for other ways to release my anger, like violent video games, but single player games just don't give me any satisfaction and multiplayer games just piss me off more because of the number of juvenile assholes and other assorted dumbasses I encounter there. Thus, I had to find an activity that didn't include interaction with anyone, lest I be driven into a murderous rage.

Anyhow, if you're actually reading this, check back from time to time. I can promise you that my future posts will make you all feel very sane and calm by comparison.